Letting Go
What if I told you that by letting go you could increase your impact as a leader? How can you let go of something and increase your impact?, you wonder. It’s not as counter-intuitive as you may think.
Leadership can often require you to let go so someone else can take agency. What’s hard about this is that you’re trained “to do” and you forget that what brought you to leadership isn’t necessarily what will make you an effective leader.
Human doing vs. human being
The premium our society puts on “doing” keeps us in our heads and disconnects us from those around us. It discourages our feeling and sensing into what's needed for ourselves and others. Said differently, it keeps us in "human doing" mode instead of facilitating our “human being” mode.
From my perspective, leadership is most effective when heart, body and head are all online and aligned, allowing you to feel and sense into what's needed in the moment.
By online, I mean that you are consciously aware (in real time) of the wisdom shared by the heart and body.
One of the ways to bring all three online is to relax and let go. By relaxing we open space for our heart and body. We become more aware of the nuances of our surroundings, and what is needed.
I often see clients struggle with bringing heart, body and head online because they are holding on to old identities and narratives. They remain identified with the role(s) and tasks that brought them to be selected for a leadership role. They unconsciously maintain the story that they have to engage others the same way this former role required. Unfortunately this adherence to old ways of being actually prevents them from fully stepping into leadership.
I help them cultivate their self-awareness, allowing them to recognize these underlying patterns. With awareness, comes the ability to see what they’ve been holding onto. They also realize that only by letting go will they be able to fully step into leadership. As Lao Tzu says: ”When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
Relaxing into the flow
Consider this, “Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”- Lao Tzu
I interpret this as meaning if we stay in our heads, we tend to become rigid and struggle to yield. Whereas by letting go, by listening, we can see what’s needed and a path to achieve that.
My invitation to you
For the next two weeks, give yourself permission to just go with the flow as you start each day. When you’re confronted with something, bring your awareness to your heart and body by placing a hand over your heart and on your belly, Take a couple of deep breaths and see what shifts in your awareness. At the end of the day, spend a few minutes reflecting, and noting how many times you jumped in as if on autopilot. Tracking makes it easier to monitor trends. Remember, you can audit yourself at any time by asking yourself, where is your attention? How inclusive is it? Is there space for the heart and body to engage?